One Man Hilariously Shares What He's Learned from Living with Girls

Craig Shapes, a musician living in Kent, United Kingdom, had a v. rude awakening after moving in with his girlfriend and her BFF.

Last year, I moved in with my girlfriend and her best mate. They’re both girls. Some of the shit I’ve seen is EYE OPENING mate (a thread)

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

According to this now-viral Twitter thread, Shapes moved in with the ladies sometime in 2017 and has since been shaken to his core by his time in the house. Everything from a typical gal’s pre-game ritual before a night out (hint: it involves several steps across many hours) to how adept ladies are at Instagram stalking (“I mention a name, after five mins on Insta they know the person’s dog’s name, their shoe size and their national insurance number”), Shapes says the experience has given him a newfound appreciation for women in general.

Shapes also mentions that he believes girls to have “photographic screenshot memories…”

1. They show each other ALL of the messages that they receive from everybody. Nobody is safe. Girls don’t need screenshots mate, they have photographic screenshot memories

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

2. Contrary to popular belief, girls do poo. And they ain’t scared to talk about it mate. “I NEED A POO” is probably the most used phrase in this house.

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

3. HAIR CLIPS. Oh my days the hair clips. Stand on them, sit on them, wake up with them attached to your skin, mate I could have a fucking bath in the ones I find on a weekly basis

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

4. The process for getting ready for a night out is not just “wash, get dressed, go out”. Nah. There’s meetings, catwalk shows, endless compliments and it’s sometimes an actual 2 man job cos some dresses have back zips that would literally be impossible for one girl to reach mate

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

5. Candles. We have SO MANY CANDLES. Candles that smell like really weird things, like “rhubarb and custard”. I don’t even know what rhubarb and custard actually smells like?!?

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

6. Kardashians. Ibiza Weekender. Ru Paul. Ex On The Beach. Love Island. Geordie Shore. Mate, I know everything about all of these people I’ll never meet. There are SO MANY EPISODES OF THEM ALL! And the worst thing is, I actually gave in and really got in to Love Island ????

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

…And a penchant for plucking other people’s brows. Ha!

7. If my eyebrows aren’t “fleeky”, they literally don’t talk to me until I agree to let one of the girls pluck them. It’s mad. Girls love plucking someone else’s eyebrows. No idea why!!

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

8. Girls go on and on about dieting and “bikini bodies” etc, but trust me when I say that “cheat day” is pretty much whenever they feel sad about anything. Bad day? Glass of wine. Is it Monday? Chocolate. Did your boyfriend tell you we can’t have a dog? Dominos.

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

9. I know that the saying goes “girls find out everything”, but if that’s true it’s only because they are NEXT LEVEL instagram stalkers. Seriously I mention a first name, after 5 mins on insta they know the persons dogs name, their shoe size and their national insurance number

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

At one point, Shapes actually refers to himself and his roommates as “we.” As in, “When we’re hungover, we literally don’t get out of dressing gowns all day.” L O L, so cute right?

10. Dressing gowns. If you haven’t got a dressing gown then you are missing out mate. Some days when we’re hungover, we literally don’t get out of dressing gowns all day. The girls go Tesco in dressing gowns and nobody even cares bruv

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

11. Sometimes I sit on the sofa and just watch those two, sometimes they just look and break out in to dance or something. I literally have no idea what’s going on, there doesn’t even have to be any music playing

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

12. Everything is a massive drama. Having to wash your hair = drama. It being cold outside when you expected warm and you have to change your outfit = drama. Not being able to find an item of clothing = absolutely fucking massive drama.

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

13. If visitors come round, we have to know 8-10 working days beforehand so the girls can make sure that the house is clean, they’ve washed and dried their hair and they have makeup on

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

14. Girls share all of the clothes. They might as well have a shared wardrobe. It’s actually gone past the point of them knowing who’s top is who’s lol

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

15. There is so much hair everywhere mate, it’s mad. Especially around the shower, just little clumps of hair. Am used to it now tho

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018

All I’d say tho is that you don’t know true loyalty until you’ve lived with girls. And the house is full of laugher every day. Love them x

— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018